Born in Dayton, Ohio, Connie grew up on the same street as her husband David. After going separate ways after high school, they reunited in 2000 and married in 2001. Recently celebrating 20 years of marriage, Connie plans to make the next 20 even better and would love for all her family to join in the fun here on the Dexter (and related families) website.
I’m constantly surprised in my research, finding new stories of family from ages past. My paternal grandmother Marjorie Huston Dexter told many stories that were more myth and fantasy than fact. None have truly been debunked, but some have crossed and blurred lines. Her tales are legend in our family – and perhaps that’s all there is.
But I’ll let you be the judge.
Her first story is about an alleged ancestor she said was named Sam Huston. So far, I haven’t ID’d anyone on her tree named Sam. But, I digress.
This Sam Huston was alleged to be a real hero, she said. She told me that during a massive flood, there were many people stranded on and in homes and yelling for help. Sam immediately jumped on his horse, and crossed the river. He gathered those poor, soggy, trapped folk, and began bringing them back across the river, one at a time.
He got to the last person, and into the water he pushed his horse once again. One more trip. The horse and victim and Sam all went into the river. The horse misstepped, and all went under.
The horse came out.
The victim came out.
Sam drowned.
Well, I have yet to locate this heroic Sam Huston (no relation to the Confederate). But here is where the water hits the wall.
A Family Coincidence?
WH Keesee drowns in Dan River, Feb1893 (Richmond Times-Dispatch)
In my mother’s paternal family are ancestors named Keesee. One such industrious young man, W.H. Keesee, was a “hack”, essentially a horse and buggy taxi from back in the day.
Young W.H. met and was hired by Tom Washington, a drummer, who wanted to see the countryside. Washington was having a great time and encouraged his driver to keep going.
As darkness fell, it became more difficult to see. The Dan River was now swollen from rains and the bridge – unknown to WH was out.
The hack, in the dark, went into the river.
The horses kicked free of their traces and made it safely up the bank.
Washington suffered himself to get free from the cab, climbed on top and was eventually rescued.
W.H. Keesee’s body was not discovered. At least, as of the date of the last article on the story.
Another time, perhaps, I’ll tell you Gramma’s story about the priest and the beauty…
I got to chat online with a newly found cousin the other day. It happens often enough, doing what I do with my research. As it happens, this cousin is a second cousin from my grandmother’s brother’s family. We started off “dancing” on Ancestry – I mean, sometimes you don’t want to give it all up without knowing this person gets you. And when you’ve had someone literally steal your work before, trust me, it can be painful. So, you take precautions and put up walls.
Well, we got over that quickly enough. As soon as I found out she was Uncle Dale’s granddaughter, she had to be OK in my book. I know, I know, it doesn’t always work that way, and maybe I’m wrong, but I would lay money that she’s ok. After all, she’s got 18 grandchildren. Eighteen, people! And she’s a couple years younger than me!
A Person Of Some Influence
So, one of the ways that I proved to her that – not only did I know her granddad, but I loved him – was to tell her WHY I loved him.
My great uncle Dale, “Calvin Dale Keifer, Jr.”
When we were kids, we got so excited whenever Uncle Dale came over. I don’t know if he was still out of the county then or not, but all of us (my 2 older brothers and my baby sister) just adored him. He taught us things I shared with my kids and grandkids today.
“First you put your hands together, like you’re saying a prayer…then scrunch your hands together so your knuckles from both hands touch and you’re looking at your thumbs. Alternate your fingers, so you have one between its mates on the other hand. Are your thumbs still in front?” Are you with me so far? OK… “Here is the Church, and… (Now, you raise your index fingers and touch your fingertips together)… Here is the steeple… (Now you just twist a bit, ok?) Open the door, (just put your thumbs out, and turn your hands in front) and see all the people!
Uncle Dale also taught us the Apple and the Worm trick… much simpler! “Hands together like you’re saying a prayer! OK, now, bend your middle fingers so the fold over your other hand. Like this! Now, you twist your hands, so you make your hand “the apple” and your fingers – just wiggle them! They’re a worm!”
I was always delighted. Such simple things to make such an impression. He was just such a person of some influence!
I don’t remember why these seem to be the only things I remember about my uncle, Maybe I began to feel at the time he passed away that I was past all the kid games. I was a grown up, and didn’t need to be patted on the head. The one thing I never got past and hope to never get over was simply that he was special to me. There isn’t any why.
There is no earth shattering story about his employment. There is no great immigration story here. It’s just about a guy who took a few minutes to do something unique and different for his grand-niece that impacted my heart for all of my life. I also remember feeling shattered when I heard he passed away.
To this day, I remember the day of his funeral: October 6, 1981. Why? It was the same day Anwar Sadat was assassinated. And it was my beloved uncle’s funeral day, so I was doubly sad. Now, I don’t especially know why Anwar Sadat stuck in my head all these years. I know he was a great Egyptian leader and all, and his assassination was a tremendous loss for the people.
What I do remember was the family gathering after Uncle’s funeral and all the sharing that went on. It was a gentle fall day. Not outrageously hot as early October can be, but a comfortable Indian Summer day. The leaves had begun turning, yellows and oranges peeking around the cemetery.
It was a day of beauty for a body to begin its’ final rest. Good night, Uncle Dale.
Calvin Dale Keifer, son of Calvin Dale Keifer Sr. and Clara Myrtle Helmick; born 7 Sep 1908, died 2 Oct 1981. Buried with many family members at David Cemetery, Kettering, Ohio. Brother to my great aunt Florence Keifer Morgan Smith; my maternal grandmother, Phyllis Lucile Keifer Rutherford; Philip Franklin Keifer; Virginia Ann “Ginger” Keifer Fischer; Frances Lovine Keifer Dunn; and Louise Geraldine Keifer Riley Miller.
I’ve been ashamed, I’ve lived in fear. I’ve much regret in life, my dear.
Many times my head’s laid low but still I think I’ve far to go.
So, don’t feel bad for me, sweet child. At times it seems, all things grow wild.
In life we have to persevere. We have to learn, to grow, to care.
When misery comes sneaking in, it’s tough to think that Joy can win.
I’ve lost my wits and been inspired. At times, I’ve even been admired.
There were times that I was compromised. Other times I was just surprised.
I’ve been angry enough to break some dishes, then prayed and hoped and sent good wishes.
So, don’t feel bad for me sweet child. At times it seems all things grow wild.
In life we may have to persevere, to learn to grow and even grow to care.
Don’t let misery sneak on in. Be open enough and let Love win.
When last we confront all our past ghosts we’ll see they weren’t the best of hosts.
They let us think we’re not enough, but girl, let me tell you – you too are tough.
So, don’t feel bad for me sweet child. At times it seems all things grow wild.
In life we have to persevere, to learn to grow and even grow to care
So misery won’t sneak on in. You’ve got to stop a moment and let yourself win.
Connie Dexter Spicer
May 5, 2023
“Flowers Through A Crystal” photo (c) by Connie Dexter Spicer
So, let’s have a look at the Hibbard family and see if we can put them together in some semblance of order and find links to the Dexter family as well.
Elizabeth Hibbard was born to William and Elizabeth (Dobbins) Hibbard along with her twin sister, Ann on 27 of July 1817 in Oxon (Oxford), Clanfield, England. The date of birth is established through 1851 UK Census, 1860 and 1870 US Federal Census records, the baptismal records confirm the approximate date of the twin’s birth. This much we already know.
What we don’t know, is how they connected!
Possible Link Through The Independent Chapel, Staines
Before her marriage to James, Elizabeth may have already been acquainted through a relation who was in the same Independent Chapel/Church in Staines. This Hibbard family had children at the same frames as Thomas and Susanna Dexter, James’ parents.
The baptismal records of Elizabeth Dexter on 24 January 1805 (daughter of Thomas and Susanna Dexter) and George Hibbard, a son of one James and Ann Hibbard (9 January 1805) were found and noted, and the next page William Dexter-6 September 1806; along with earlier baptisms for Edmund Hibbard (18 June 1803), another son of James and Ann; and John, a son of Thomas and Susanna Dexter (6 November 1803) .
Each of these children were baptized by one John Yockney, pastor of the church. Is It possible the families met at a church function in which the family of William and Elizabeth Dobbins Hibbard came to visit, met and hit it off – building relationships that would span time and continents?
The next thing I found was Elizabeth and James’ wedding, where, in the license it lists her late father William (farmer) and her brother Thomas and sister-in-law Maria (Knapp) as witnesses to the wedding. I may never find definitive proof of a familial connection between the two Hibbard families. Perhaps there really isn’t a connection, but people meet most of the time through common connections, not as strangers.
Perhaps the truth is that James, as a coal dealer – and his father’s representative – met the Hibbard clan through business. Maybe he inquired if there was a connection to the Hibbards from his church. Maybe he just saw William and his family often enough that his attraction to Elizabeth was kindled and grew.
But one thing I do know.
I know that two of Elizabeth’s brothers –Joseph with his wife Rachel and daughter Sarah, immigrated aboard different ships at different times.
Joseph was on the Danube that arrived 30 August 1849 with wife Rachel and their daughter.
Thomas, his wife Maria and their 5 kids, arrived 2 October 1850 on board the General Victoria. It is more than likely that this family connection sponsored the others.
Elizabeth and James came the following year – 1851, leaving London’s port in July and arriving on September 3rd on the Southampton.
And, while Elizabeth and James didn’t stay in Elmira with her brothers any longer than it took for her to birth and wean her 6th child, Henry, Thomas and Joseph both built their lives quickly in Elmira and stayed until their deaths.
Sadly, Thomas only lived to age 47, and passed away in 1860. His wife, Maria finished raising their children, each of whom accomplished some renown –
William Elisha became a painter in Boston. His mother lived with him and his wife Sarah, through 1865 with Willam’s sons Thomas and Charles.
Daughter Susan appears to have moved back to England, marrying there.
Thomas Hibbard Jr. opened a hardware store that remained in the community for many decades.
Son Joseph was the last child born in England, and daughter Josephine, the first born in New York.
The last child of Thomas and Maria Knapp Hibbard is perhaps the best known. His name was Charles Henry Hibbard. He served as pastor for several Episcopal churches, and at the age of 82, he passed away, much loved and respected by the accounts.
Elizabeth Hibbard Dexter and Thomas Hibbard’s other brother, Joseph and his wife and daughter, meanwhile established his own thumbprint in the Elmira community. He became known for his architecture and buildings. When he arrived in Chemung county, he made his living as a carpenter and undertaker, much like some of the Dexter clan.
More later!
Connie Spicer
Day 3: #ACS30daysofWriting #storynumberthree
Did you miss the first story? Just Click Here to go back!
The Dexter and Hibbard Connection: Tracking the Old Folks
As difficult as it can be tracking ancestors, our best options are working forward and backward. Our clan, like many others, uses many of the same common first names, but bear with me and I will try to walk you through.
I started through validating my 2x Great grandfather’s parentage, George James Dexter. His father was James Dexter, my 3rd great grandfather: the 10th child (and 7th son) of Thomas and Susanna (Trotter) Dexter (4th great grandfather), who had a long-established business in Staines, Middlesex, England as a corn dealer.
The Crest of the Worshipful Company of Tallow Chandlers
The crest of the Worshipful Company of Tallow Chandlers – from their website[1]
Thomas Senior inherited his father George’s business, originally that of a tallow chandler, and in turn, refined and evolved it into the corn and coal dealership it eventually became. It must have been some evolution, although corn oils were often used in creating tallow, so perhaps that is how it started. This then, is the 4 generations leading to our contemporary family. George, Thomas, James and George James.
The first George (so far as we know!)
George Dexter (my 5x great grandfather) did his indentured training through the Tallow Chandlers’ Guild. This was traced by my cousin, (another George Dexter – see our other authors here!) around 2010, and the information is now available online at the Worshipful Company of Tallow Chandlers.
George Dexter the first’s (as far as we know!) occupation was what connected us to him through his last Will and Testament which is the foundational image for this website. The document gave me his surviving children’s names.
The Children of George Dexter and Mary Cowell
The family of GEORGE Dexter and his wife Mary (nee Cowell) was small – it was just George and Mary, and daughter Elizabeth Dexter (b 1763, m. Edward Taylor, d. 1849); William (lived just 6 years), another son George, that lived about one year, and THOMAS, my 4x great grandfather, born in 1773. Ultimately, the only surviving children were Elizabeth and Thomas.
George’s daughter, Elizabeth Dexter was married quite young – with her father’s permission – to either George’s partner or his partner’s son. Their family was traced using the wills of George Dexter (tallow chandler) and her husband, Edward Taylor. Their family is easily traced using Elizabeth Dexter Taylor’s will and includes 4 daughters and 3 sons, all named in my family tree.
After George passed away, Thomas inherited his father’s tallow chandler business. He altered the chandlery to begin a generational career with his sons as a corn dealer, then including coal dealings as well.
In 1899, son Thomas took as his wife, Susanna Trotter. They had ten children that lived to adulthood to carry on their legacy.
Thomas Dexter and Susanna Trotter’s Youngest
Of the 10 children that survived to adulthood in the Thomas and Susanna Dexter family, there likely wasn’t much left for the youngest son, James. There was also so much going on around the area they lived, that historically speaking, the turmoil might well have encouraged James to take his young family to the New World for new opportunities and safety.
In 1843, at 30 years of age, James marries Elizabeth Hibbard, a daughter of William Hibbard and second wife Elizabeth (nee Dobbins). “Hibbard”, in and of itself, is a fairly common name in the UK, so at first it was difficult connecting these dots and verifying Elizabeth’s parentage. I was able to do that by following breadcrumbs they left.
First, James Dexter and Elizabeth Hibbard married by license at St. John’s Church in the parish of Paddington, Middlesex County on 7 November 1843[2]. Both were of full age, and never previously married. James was listed as a corn dealer from Staines, his father Thomas Dexter, listed as corn dealer.
More info from the marriage license: Elizabeth was living at 13 Grosvenor St, and her father listed as “William Hibbard, Farmer”. Those witnessing the ceremony and recorded on the registry were Thomas Hibbard and his wife, Maria Hibbard. I discovered Maria to be Maria “Knapp”. This direct connection is very important to remember and will be addressed in a later story.
James and Elizabeth started making babies right away – they had 5 between 1844 and June of 1851, all of whom survived into adulthood. All of the baptisms are recorded.
The Family Moves Across The Pond
One record that indicated “things were up” was the 1851 UK Census itself, which had oldest son George James – my 2x great grandfather (age 6) at the home of Thomas, his grandfathers’ home in Staines. Was George James spending some last precious time with his grandpa before this great trek?
This was surely a last, very special visit by George James with his Grandpa and namesake, his aunts Mary and Elizabeth and Uncle William. Grandmother Susanna had passed away the same year that George was born (1844), and I can imagine – as a grandparent and as a parent – how much I would want to spend time with my dear ones before they went to a new land across a dangerous ocean.
The rest of the family was still in their own home in Chertsey at the time of the 1851 Census. Surely, they were preparing for the journey to America! The Census came out in June of 1851. The ship they were to embark on was in London’s harbor in July of that same year. By September 1851, they were in America.
Elizabeth Hibbard’s Beginnings
Other notes of interest in the 1851 UK census include Elizabeth Hibbard Dexter’s birthplace of Oxford, Clanfield, England. I later discovered her father was considered a person of some local importance there – a yeoman and gentleman farmer.
Willam Hibbard’s will names wife Elizabeth (nee Dobbins) and the following children: William, (Thomas Siddons or perhaps Higgens, son-in-law – spouse to daughter Mary), Charles, Thomas, Joseph, Elizabeth (who married James Dexter) and Ann, discovered to be Elizabeth’s twin sister through baptismal records.
His testament includes notations regarding his “farming business”, and how it will go to the youngest child when they attain full age. Later, his will specifies he has “seven children”. [3] The will included a secondary codicil as well. Original will and codicil signed 24 December 1825.) William Hibbard Sr. passed away on January 4, 1826, just a couple of weeks after completing his will.
As mentioned, I was able to locate the manifest of the ship Southampton, which left London in early July 1851. It arrived in New York harbor on 3 September 1851, with James and Elizabeth Dexter and 5 children. In early 1852, sixth child, Henry was born in Elmira, Chemung County, New York. All future children were born in Indiana. This means that a pregnant Elizabeth traveled across the Atlantic with her husband and 5 children! What a tough lady!
But of all the places they could go from New York Harbor, why would they go to Chemung County? Why Elmira? Is it possible they knew someone there? Perhaps someone who knew them, or who sponsored them? Perhaps they wrote to them about the opportunities in America?
